SCHIZOCURRENCY TOKEN
WHITE PAPER
THESIS: THE SATOSHI OF SHITCOINS
Are you tired of getting rugged? Did you buy the pico top of MySpaceJimmyCarterJuicyFruit59Chevy $LINK only to have the dev jeet his bags faster than your diarrhea after consuming Moctezuma's Extra Strength oral Maalox?
Most shitcoins are designed to peak, jeet, and flatline for weeks until they unexpectedly pump into a big green sky dildo that tricks your neural circuitry into hitting the buy button on Uniswap so that you can feel like a winner too. However, this sweet dopamine surge lasts only as long as it takes the dev to activate his alt wallets and purge his bags the minute an extra wei of liquidity gets added to the pool.
Fuck that shit. I am here to offer you an alternative. A deflationary shitcoin distribution that will (maybe) rise in value organically over time. How? Impossible? lmfao NOT ANY MORE THANKS TO A TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH I CALL:
PROOF OF AUTISM
This is my white paper: I propose a true SCHIZOCURRENCY that has no pre-sale to your favorite CryptoTwitter jeetfluencers, just a plea to you, the degens of the world who always get fucked. This is a shitcoin that can only be EARNED through the good honest STAKING of really shitty NFTs and the stinkiest memecoins. This is a real memecoin that all you hard-working schizophrenics deserve.
Just like early bitcoin miners provided computing power to produce value, SCHIZOCURRENCY will be generated from staking the dirtiest tokens of MEMECOIN SUMMER, the ones that are so blatantly retarded that they actually might make you rich.
It's time for everyone start at ZER0. If you're like me, you've been there 2 or 3 times so this doesn't really bother you.
The earlier you start staking, the bigger your piece of the mental illness pie.
If doing something cool interests you, please read on....
***SAVE GAS***
MULTI-STAKING ADDED TO ALL APPS
***SAVE GAS***
Give Her the ERC20 Token that Says "Schizophrenia is my Love Language"
The voices only told me to drop this nuclear code a few days ago. My cat also said it was a good idea, and I always listen to kitty.
FACTS:
The final supply will ultimately be determined by participation in the staking mechanisms.
Staking to earn SCHIZOCURRENCY is currently available for:
Scroto Schizos
Madness of The Touched
Tinubu Demons
mandelaXbiden's His Majesty's Meaty Mittens.
Sproto Gremlins
This project is designed to reward good behavioral SCHIZONOMICS, which I define as early engagement, zealotry in the face of FUD, consistent attention, and substantial late party investment.
This memecoin is designed to mimic the tokenomics of actual BITCOIN over approximately 1 year, during which time staking certain memecoin tokens and NFTS will produce an increasingly decreasing supply of SCHIZOCURRENCY.
Will this contract be renounced? Fuck no. Money printer go brrrrr BITCHES...for ~3 months, which will define 50% of the total supply. Anything worthwhile there is risk. But why the fuck are you buying memecoins if you don't have risk tolerance?
NFA, DYOR, see DISCLAIMER.
Will I make a liquidity pool and put this coin on Uniswap?
YOU WOULD BE LEGIT DUMB AF IF YOU BUY THIS ON UNISWAP UNTIL 90 DAYS HAS ELAPSED AND WE ENTER TENET #2
NO - I am not minting any of this coin for myself (I will earn it through the same mechanisms as you). In the coming weeks, there will be opportunities for YOU to invest and generate the coins yourself and form your own liquidity pools, if you're autistic enough to adopt early and follow along for the wiggles and the giggles.
proof of work = lame
proof of stake = same
PROOF OF AUTISM = Gingerbread Cookies
Utility Only Limited by Your Imagination and Degree of Mental Illness
On 6/9/24, the amount of SCHIZOCURRENCY you own will determine how much airdrop you will receive. What does that look like? What am I even talking about? No idea, Bro. I'm still waiting for the vibrations to tell me what the end looks like. There is only the Prophecy, this White Paper, and what the universe MANIFESTS.
STAKING, MEMEING, and NOT TOUCHING YOUR DICK OR YOUR ASSETS are fair mechanisms to demonstrate how much of a wizard you actually are because true degens never sell. Maybe this coin is actually how you're going to make it, Anon. Allow me to be your fearless dev, prophet, and Christ-like figure for the next year as we build something memeingful. Buying into dumb shit like this and actually making money would be legit hilarious. All SCHIZOCURRENCY owners are eligible for future airdrops and sick gains maybe, if my math is correct (and that's a big fucking maybe because I'm seriously neurodivergent).
FUTURE GOALS:
Release more NFTs to reward early follower (#SaturnLove), encourage early adoption, and reward TRUST (Tenet #1)
Contracts Renounced (Tenet #2, October)
Community-driven DEX and LISTINGS. (Tenet #2-3)
Purchase dank memes and INSCRIBE SACRED TEXTS made by the community and minted on SCHIZOCURRENCY's contract. (All Tenets)
If you have thoughts or ideas or just want to vibe, hit me up on Twitter (@schizocurrency) or the Schizoverse Discord. Holy fuck, I WILL NOT DM YOU, and I am not responsible for your degeneracy or lack thereof (see DISCLAIMER at bottom). Other coins may be considered for staking. If you express regret, remorse, or agitation that I'm making art or building out this project, I will instantly block you and ban you from the alpha. If you want a project that is doing jack shit, I refer you to @8liensNFT - I mean they didn't drop the ball as much as the guy that made millions off of $TURBO and then made $CLOWNcoin, but they kinda did fr fr.
Just watch this video ----------------------------------->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Go to the menu in the UPPER RIGHT of the screen.
Click on the appropriate staking app
Click on the STAKE button beneath the token you want to stake
If you want to MULTISTAKE, go to the bottom of the page and insert the token ids (separated by commas but NO SPACES, for example: 1,2,3,4,5,69, 6969)
staking demonstration.mp4
YOU BETTER LISTEN TO HIM
Current Tokens you can STAKE to earn SCHIZOCURRENCY:
Madness of The Touched on OpenSea
Tinubu Demons on OpenSea
mandelaXbiden - His Majesty's Meaty Mittens on Opensea
Sproto Gremlins - on OpenSea
COMING SOON:
VoldemortTrumpRobotnik-10Neko $ETHEREUM on Dextools (ERC20)
UNDER REVIEW:
HarryPotterObamaSonic10Inu $BITCOIN
BilboBagginsPutinCharmander9000Inu $BINANCE
PalpatineDeSantisShadow80085MiladyInu $TETHER
DumbledoreKennedyKnuckles420Musk $DOGECOIN
And the answer is NO, RonWeasley ETH. Fuck you and Hermione.
YOUR TIME IS VALUABLE
Staking to earn SCHIZOCURRENCY actually takes some cost and effort - the cost of gas AND having to click through all those NFTs is equivalent to a low level PROOF OF WORK. No multi-staking allowed -- you have to click each one of those ugly fucks one-by-one. There is NO LOCK period, just the sweet torture of having to click them off one by one again if you suddenly get cold feet. Feel free to unstake or not stake though, you're just making the token even more scarce.
WE ARE CURRENTLY IN TENET #1
=-=Early Adoption Phase=-=
***HIGH INFLATION***
=-=Early Adoption Phase=-=
***HIGH INFLATION***
EARN $SCHIZOCURRENCY THROUGH STAKING
The TENET #1 staking period will produce 50% of SHIZOCURRENCY supply.
Staking Contracts (NOT LOCKED - UNSTAKE AT ANY TIME)
Scroto Schizos Staking Contract:
0xbCaefa387d6E7441922fADB923BDDE97330b5029
Madness of The Touched Staking Contract:
0x59b769873E45E6F2e8B23C0D52269BE0b2c540c1
Tinubu Demons Staking Contract:
0xe44378Bc33E2aEcd7f5271D6EB7FA206d3378A15
mandelaXbiden Meaty Mittens Staking Contract: 0xF6EC17cDe22E20b0419dF1903cF5b7D8AC2072c0
Sproto Gremlins Staking Contract (come to Papa):
0x6b2013C4C4EF9D0619AcCea7D4304DdF52F91C18
Contracts will not be renounced immediately as this would limit further development. Contracts were coded using thirdweb resources. DYOR.
CONTRACT ADDRESSES
SCHIZOCURRENCY Contract Address: 0xAC1C0AE542b887e540BD76D8838ABB768Da60B1C
Taxes/Fees: 0%
EARN $SCHIZOCURRENCY THROUGH STAKING
Staking Contracts (NOT LOCKED - UNSTAKE AT ANY TIME)
Scroto Schizos
Madness of the Touched
Tinubue Demons
mandelaXbiden's His Majesty's Meaty Mittens.
Sproto Gremlins
AGAIN, THE SCHIZOCURRENCY ERC20 CONTRACT WILL NOT BE RENOUNCED FOR AT LEAST 90 DAYS.
You can call me Scrotoshi. We are all Scrotoshi.
SCHIZONOMICS
NO SHILLFLUENCER PRE-SALE, NO BULLSHIT
With the help of my mom's ChatGPT subscription, Vyvanse, and an endless supply of cigarettes, I have devised a staking plan that will mimic the distribution method and tokenomics of Satoshi's to make a deflationary shitcoin that has a non-zero chance of surpassing all others to become the world's reserve currency.
ChatGPT had a good point: Other projects will offer you staking, but the rewards will ultimately be a PITIFUL amount of the total supply. Here, you are building the total supply, which will be a function of total community engagement, just like mining bitcoin in 2010, but I'm impatient so I cast a magic spell to replicate Satoshi's magic in 1 year.
Initial Distribution:
NOBODY GETS COIN UP-FRONT: All funds minted by schizocurrency.eth will be immediately transferred to staking contracts as reward tokens (unless contract is renounced, then I'll just hold onto them for a while).
Staking Rewards will DIMINISH/HALVE (just like Bitcoin) for most NFTs and memecoins (but NOT for Scroto Schizos or Meaty Mittens - they are special AF) at ~90 days (or after reward supply is depleted). You only need to stake Scroto Schizos and Meaty Mittens ONCE - but other NFTs, you may have to unstake/restake. Plan accordingly.
Other NFTs or coins may WILL be added for staking (and they will have pluses and minuses), and their release is done at the sole discretion of myself
PRICE ACTION IS ENTERTAINMENT
DISCLAIMER
Before you traverse this dark financial abyss, know this - only those blessed with a touch of madness may cross into our realm. Welcome, fellow lunatics, to our grand dance of chaos. This offering of SCHIZOCURRENCY, also known as madman's gold, is not for those with stupidly mild risk tolerance.
WARNING
In embarking on this twisted journey, you openly acknowledge your descent into a type of insanity. Engaging with this cryptocurrency requires an embrace of chaos, a tease on the precipice of the irrational. This is not for the sober mind, the rational thinker, the predictable player. No, this coin is specifically for you assholes who have gotten drukn and howled at the moon or whispered to the stars.
CAUTION
This is an experiment, a wild spectacle, an absurd puppet show that mimics the distribution of bitcoin over 1 years time. SCHIZOCURRENCY is akin to playing the jester in the court of Stalin himself. This journey, dear friends, is for entertainment purposes ONLY.
NOTE
Please be aware that nothing I ever say is investment advice. It is a parade of the absurd, a celebration of the strange, a revelry of the irrational feelings that make us buy memecoins in the first place. This is not a sane man's game; no sensible returns or rational outcomes should really be expected.
DISCLAIMER
The creators, instigators, and puppet masters here bear no responsibility for any distress, delusions, or disastrous financial outcomes that may result from your participation. You're here because you're not all there, and that's just how we like it. Enter at your own risk, and may the mad gods of chaos guide your way.
Remember, your purchase of SCHIZOCURRENCY is your ticket to a journey beyond the superficial universe and deep within the rabbit hole of your own beautiful madness. Enjoy the ride!
@Schizocurrency on Twitter
Schizoverse Discord
Schizocurrency NFTs